My will
by OppositesExist
Summary: So this is another 'Rin becomes an Angel story' A lot darker then normal. The first chapter is being wrote at my grumpy time (what all the time? Midnight...) So it's short and possibly not good. I absolutely will hate myself in the morning and promise to do better later. Rated M for slightly graphic torture and lots of cussing.
1. Confusion Sets

**Exist: Re-update of Chapter 1! Begin now!**

Rin never knew how much he envied humans until now.

He always wondered what it felt like not to be an abomination to society, wondered to have a first real friend. All he was good for so far is picking fights and getting picked on.

"_Such a brutal child! He hospitalized a kid!" Mrs. Price, the kindergarten teacher, shouted across from the room. There were broken toys and ripped dolls spread throughout the room. Rin fearsomely stared at his bloodied knuckles and started growling._

_Everyone inside stepped away and fear until Rin's foster father, Father Fujimoto came to the school faster than you can say 'sukiyaki'._

"_Rin!" He calmly called. A broken stuffed doll was thrown his way and he turned to the side. He began walking towards his adopted child and kneeled down. Then, to everyone's confusion, he just hugged him. _

_That was it!_

_No lectures, no yelling, nothing but a hug!_

_Rin froze for a moment and started growling again. He slammed his fists into Shiro's chest and he made a soft groan. He stroked Rin's hair and began whispering, "Listen Rin… Don't you realize you're scaring these people? You put your friend in the hospit-"_

"_He's not my friend! He called me a demon…" Rin trailed off._

"_Even so, you can't just punch anyone if they call you names. You have to tell your teacher and she'll deal with them for you. If you keep getting into fights, you'll find one day that you're all alone and will get left behind. I want you to grow up with lots of good friends and have hot chicks crawling for you." Shiro laughed._

"_Ok…" Rin muttered in a ghost of a whisper._

"_I give up!" Shiro fell to the ground comically and 911 were immediately called._

"_They said you got 4 fractured ribs!" Rin shouted to his carried away father._

"_I'll be fine kiddo! A sexy nurse with big boobs is going to take care of me!" He kept groaning in pain as he was carried inside the truck. Rin began crying and made an internal promise that he will try harder to not fight._

_For Shiro._

Rin sat in the empty darkness, thinking about his whole life and what he's done to get here, this empty void. Some friends would be nice right now…

Friends…

Rin silently hurled curses towards that word. His "friends" at True Cross Academy were like no friends at all. Every last one of them, even Shiemi, despises Rin in one way or another. Ryuji tells him to leave the classroom so he doesn't have to look at Rin. His idea of being "friends" is pretending to like you until he knows where you're from. Sometimes, Rin even catches Ryuji muttering 'His fatal verse, his fatal verse... Damnit!' Konekomuru usually shouts demon if Rin is within 100 feet of him and can faint on the spot if he looks right at his face, it could make a person feel ugly immediately, which Rin was in his opinion. Izumo didn't really care, but she did occasionally shoot him a dirty look, but not because of Rin's demonic features, but his pure idiocity. (A/N: Rin thinks Idiocy is Idiocity… Classic Rin) Yukio treats Rin all the same after the Goblin incident, but they're brothers so they're made to make-up. Shiemi Moriyama… The most selfless and amazing girl ever to exist in Assiah. She has a smile that could turn a violent storm into a calm shower, she has huge, emerald eyes that sparkle, and she has the most adorable face ever. He feels really bad that he made Shiemi meet him. All he did was given her more trouble in life and yet, she still tried her hardest to calm him down when he lost control. Rin knew Shiemi cared about him, but even so, Rin felt guilty about troubling her all that time and wearing her out like that.

While Rin thought this over, something snow white flashed before his eyes so fast he nearly didn't notice it. The object zipped and made popping sounds until it froze mid-air in front of him.

Being ever so curious, he reached out to poke it. When he did, a woman appeared in front of him and holy crap she was beautiful.

She had wavy, long brown hair which gave off a shimmering glow, a flower crown circling near her forehead, and she wore a long white dress that reached to her knees. Her skin looked soft like a baby's bottom, **(A/N creepy comparison, moving on)** and she had a smile of the gods themselves.

"Hello Rin!" Her voice was like music that passed through his ears like they just received a $5000 dollar spa treatment and he just want to sit there like an idiot staring in awe for a long, long time.

"Wait… How do you know my name? Who are you? Where did you come from?" Rin fired question after question like a mini-gun. **(A/N Foreshadowing :D)**

"My name is Yuri Egin, and I come from what everyone calls 'Heaven'." Instead of getting a look of disbelief from Rin, he started running around panicking.

"Wait? WHAT! When did I die? No… I am too young!" He sobbed comically into his knees. Yuri just sweat-dropped and then cleared her throat. She couldn't believe THAT'S her child, was Satan hiding his stupidity or something?

"Anyway… Rin Okumura, you are not dead and you are not in Assiah. Think about it as… Purgatory!" She snapped her fingers.

"Umm…. Ok…. So why are you here?" He bluntly stated.

"Well mister! You should not take such a rude tone with your mother!" She comically pulled his demon ear and a tick mark appeared on her head.

"Ow! Stop it! That hurts! OW!" Rin was holding his bruised ear into realization dawned into him. "Wait… You're my mother?" He pointed her face.

"Finally! It took you lon-" She was cut off by Rin saying the most annoying words a mother could hear.

"Why should I believe you?" He argued, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Sheesh! How can anyone be THIS dense?" She smacked his head and quickly cooled down. She took three big breaths and crossed her arms.

"Listen Rin, enough with the comical violence, I need to tell you something important…" Yuri paused, as if she was internally arguing whether to keep talking or shut up.

"But first, I need to show you something about my past, the months before you were born… Also, I need you to not make any sound during the story… Alright? What I am about to show you is all true and I am going to get into lots of trouble just speaking about this with you, and trust me, I am already going to get into enough trouble for coming to Purgatory and bringing you here!"

Rin didn't know what was going on at all and he didn't like it, but something about Yuri makes him want to trust her. So he nodded and braced for the absolute worst.

**Exist-san: Is this any better than before? Seriously, is it? One of my main problems is that I rush the story.**


	2. Made it out somehow

Shura never expected this.

Rin was taken into THAT room. The room of "discipline" is a horrendous room and Shura has been in there once to watch a man die for turning to the demons side and nearly destroying Asia. The weapons in there still give her nightmares and the torture… Jesus holy Christ she nearly vomited on the floor. Nobody deserves a torture that severe and makes you wonder who the real demons in the world are.

_Four-eyes and that blonde girl would be mortified if I told them. I am not THAT cruel. But maybe some details…_

Shura took a liking to Rin. Sure he was impulsive, cocky, and annoying but was still pretty entertaining. Also she owes Fujimoto a lot of favors and this will repay them all.

"Rin! I can't get in but hang on!" She shouted through the door before taking off. What the hell was that? Not even Rin's demon healing can fix everything they do to him.

Shit.

OOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOooo

Torture doesn't even begin to describe it.

Blood oozed on the ground. Rin had trouble breathing with the chainsaw still stuck, FINALLY off. He felt like his organs were being shredded and his demon healing stopped after a while. He felt water on him and it began burning his entire being. Gallons kept getting poured on him and the tears he been refusing to flow where on the verge of streaming down his cheeks. He refused to cry, no, he WON'T cry.

Gun shots were heard as they began to fill huge holes in Rin's back. They flipped him over and used him as target practice. Eventually they got bored of pistols and switched to Assault Rifle's burst fire, sniper rifles, holy water grenades, and even a flamethrower. How ironic. Dying from flames. (Burst fire mode is when you randomly shoot bullets in different directions. It recoils though and it is really a last ditch effort move against any animals or humans. If your gun doesn't have many rounds inside then it's practically useless unless you need to fire faster.) Flames are what killed many people and are the symbol of Satan. He also used them to destroy demons.

Then, he felt his demon tail being pulled up. It was pulled upwards and sliced off with the edge of a pocket knife.

One. Quick. Swipe.

Rin froze for a moment, not aware of the pool of blood beginning to form under him. The tail was part of his identity and even though it told everyone he was a demon…. It was still a part of his soul. Now that was shredded off with one, swift motion. Also Kuro, his best demon friend and familiar, loved playing with it.

They then amputated his left arm and right leg and made him scream. Tears began flowing out. Blood was spraying everywhere and he felt his heartbeat fast. Than go slow. He was losing blood fast.

When Rin thought he wanted no tears to fall, he did not mean gouge his right eye. The normally blue and bright eye was bleeding and in place was a knife. Of course, they had to finish the job by putting their fingers around his throat and choking him. He gagged and spit mixed into the crimson ooze. He managed to barely speak, "stop" before he was getting gagged again. Rin prayed the worst was over and he didn't have to lose any more of his organs or blood. He saw finger prints on his neck. If Rin got out alive, he would have to wear lots of covering clothes and say he was in a rough fight. He may need to do something about the eye as well… And the rest of his face….

They kept telling him, "This is the purification process. This is the purification process." Those words were empty and meaningless. This was raw torture and nothing less. Then he heard a zipper… footsteps… and a belt unloosening.

(I really can't keep going with the graphics right now, and I can't even describe the rape scene. I do not have the darkness some people have. Maybe that's a good thing…)

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Shura saw some men walk out and immediately dived at the Paladin aka the hippie. "What the hell did you do to him?!" She pulled her sword out of her chest. "Devour the 8 princesses, slay the serpent!"

"Don't worry, one of the other exorcists is doing _personal _business." Shura immediately got what he was saying and aimed for the door.

"SNAKE-BELLY FORM!" Shura bit her thumb and wiped the blood down the base of the sword. She used all the force she got and put a small dent in the iron door.

"Serpent fang!" A bunch of air slices smashed against the door. She was doing something, but the exorcists held her back and she started kicking air.

"Why do you want to help the demon? We are just… Making sure he can be controlled." Arthur vaguely put. That really set her off. You could practically feel the rage in waves.

"Screw that! What you're doing is inhumane and no demon deserves a torture like what you're doing in there… NOW LET GO OF ME!" Shura secretly summoned her familiar from before and it slithered inside. One of the exorcists noticed and found the paper which kept it in Assiah and ripped it.

"God damn it… sorry Rin…." Shura muttered in a ghost of a whisper. She had one idea, but it could get her thrown in prison… Oh hell with it.

Shura took her sword and accessed its ultimate form. She than took something out of her stomach, which looked like a grenade of some sort and threw it on the ground. Then, she elbowed the two exorcists holding her arms and she pulled with all of her strength free and used the mist as a disguise.

"ULTIMATE WHITE FANG ATTACK!" She roared before the door flew smashed into the wall inside. She widened her eyes when she saw a suspicious green liquid in a bottle hovering over Rin's and something white on the ground. She immediately destroyed the restraints, and put him on her shoulder. "Rin! Say something! Anything or I'll pull your… tail?" It wasn't there and wasn't in his pants. Not that she checked anyway. It was just a hunch. The exorcist was on the ground shocked and confused.

Shura ran like hell out of the Vatican and back to True Cross. Dropping holy water grenades behind her whenever. "Sh..ra…" Rin lazily muttered.

"Well it's a good thing you are somewhat alive since four-eyes misses you and flower girl is scared. Let's get you into a shower first." Shura breathed. She didn't run often but she was still capable of making it back. She still remembers trying to get Rin back for a whole week. Mostly because she promised Shiro and no, she didn't like Rin. But he was enjoyable to be around. Since he's stupid and has no sense whatsoever.

"dmon…hlin..no…murk" Rin slurred. When Shura got to look at his face, she nearly threw up. A knife was lodged in his eye, he had a split lip, a bruise on his other eye which had no life inside and his pupil was dilated. There were fingerprints on his neck and his hair was tinged red.

"Damn it… We better get you some rest or you're never going to get that healed. Shura finally saw the gate and quickly got her sword. She threw it on the ground in front of him and jumped over. Then, she aimed for the door to the abandoned boy's dorm and rushed to the first shower she could find.

"Ok… We have plenty of time to get you cleaned up since Yukio is teaching for another hour. Shura was forced to wash Rin and refrained from taking off his… undergarments and covered her eyes and hoped for the best. The water cleaned most of the blood and got rid of the white stuff on his leg… She really needed to kill some demons after this and maybe have fun with a few of those exorcists who hurt Rin.

"Now let's get that knife and chainsaw out… CHAINSAW?!" It's pretty pathetic to not notice the chainsaw when it's in his godforsaken stomach. She first took out the knife slowly and held an anti-infection wipe to it. He didn't even flinch for god's sake!

"thk u." He told her loud as he could. This was barely a whisper.

"Thank me when I get this chainsaw out and wrap these convenient bandages around your stomach." She pulled something out of her chest and honestly, Shura thought everything needed bandages. Especially his… "ARM AND LEG? WHERE WERE THEY?" Shura knew she really needed to stop drinking or else it will make her oblivious to everything else. She needed some of that auto-mail stuff from TV. But she doesn't know any mechanics.

"Hey Rin… Do you want to go beat up Yukio when you feel better? I'll hold him down and you try to hit him with a cup!" Rin faintly grinned but it was still a grin.

"Be right back. I need to get mole-face and that tamer over here." Shura expected something bad to happen so she set her familiar to alert her if anyone comes in that's not her."

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Rin passed out a long time ago. Whatever he was saying was when he was half-conscious and half out of reality.

He found himself in that endless void again. But all of his injuries and reality were in the dream and was lying on the ground. Its surprising Rin didn't die of blood loss or the unbearable pain. But half the time he really wished he was dead.

"Rin…" A voice called out. He recognized it as the person who was seemingly his mother. Then, another man popped up and he instantly recognized him as Shiro: His father who truly loved him.

"You did good kiddo! You managed to survive! Sorry, that was cruel. Anyways, we have your gift." He smiled like he was proud and that wasn't something Rin saw every day.

"Rin… I know how much stress has been put on you. From figuring out you were a demon to that blasted Vatican room. It's actually the reason I didn't want to go back. Anyway, how would you feel...Rin…If you could cut your demon origins loose and become the first half-human and half-angel hybrid? We also can fix some of the physical injuries but not all if you agree."

Rin could only answer ironically.

"Hell yes." He smiled for the first time in a long time.

**Exist: Whew! Finally the horrible parts are done. GOD! Anyway: 1 review, 3 favorites, and 5 followers? Wow I am impressed! And the first chapter was ridiculously short. Sorry. So anyways I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, type a review, and hope I will keep working on this! (Ok ignore that last part)**


	3. HellBound

**Exist-chan: Quick AN: Sorry Minna! I know some of you have been waiting patiently and I need to answer some reviews first! Thanks for your sup-**

**Opposite-senpai: Before anyone asks OppositeExists is one person.**

**Exist-chan: Er… Right. Anyways… Here's chapter 1 and 2 reviews!**

**UnicornWithABananaHorn (chapter 1): NEVER! JK. I wrote that at midnight -_-**

**UnicornWithABananaHorn (chapter 2): I lost all feels writing that chapter**

**Guest: What?**

**I Give Hugs: Lol thanks for the idea!**

**Natsuki D: Uh…. Sure!**

**Opposite and Exist: ONTO LE STORY!**

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Rin abruptly woke up in a tub mixed with water, blood and… Yeah, that white stuff. He turned red as a tomato and saw he was nearly naked with the exception of his underwear. He felt like he could actually breathe air instead of holy water for once and his leg, arm and eye were fixed. Well he hoped so, he couldn't really feel anything.

But that didn't fix the scars.

Physical scars can always heal, but the mental or emotionally don't. Rin needs to hurt whoever said 'Words will never hurt you' Because they hurt… A LOT.

All those words about no one loving him, the loss of his innocence (or what was left of it), and him just being a weapon for the Vatican stuck to him like glue. He has to give them credit though, they had been doing their research and they really did say the honest truth. Izumo acted like normal to Rin, so to say kind of bitchy but oddly nice in her own strange way, B- Ryuji kept cursing him and Rin swore he found him looking through the Bible for Rin's fatal verse, Konekomaru and Shima looked scared shit and Shiemi… She actually smiled at Rin, like nothing was wrong, she was still his friend! But, he pushed her away; he nearly killed her, and forced her to get involved with him. He will have to remember to write that on his suicide will…

Rin jumped out of the bath, more like fell, and forgot the following: He hasn't walked for a week, he lost all feeling in the leg that was amputated, and there are still some nasty bruises and scars from his neck to his ankles.

He took off the wet clothing, face turning light pink, and wrapped a towel around his hair and a convenient bathrobe that covered most of the bruises. He took a glance in the mirror and he nearly broke his jaw from its dropping.

The first biggest change was his hair turned to a twilight gray and his Sapphire eyes turned midnight black. His ears and canine teeth shortened to human teeth and beautiful, snow-white wings were curled up, ready to extend and fly. His tail popped out, the tail and the end looking like a fluffy white cloud.

Rin thought about thousands of lies that will never work and he pondered on what to tell everyone. Not _"Hey guys, I am an angel from a torturing and I lost all my demon features. So how's school doing?"_ Rin faintly heard running footsteps and tried to walk up the dorm stairs. He failed hopelessly and fell back down until he realized he has WINGS! He slowly uncurled them and tried to glide up the stairs. TRIED. He fell back down the stairs, and began bleeding from almost all of the unhealed injuries.

So that worked well.

Rin only remembered a girl yell his name before the world began fading into nothing.

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Rin showed up in an empty room. It was all a void, and it felt a little warm as well. Ghostly white flames and sapphire blue flames circled Rin. He was back in that 'Discipline' place and was getting set on fire, but, instead of those guys in suits, it was all of his classmates. Konekomuru was the first to set him on fire. Apparently, the flames were torches. Then, like robots, everyone else, even SHIEMI, who would never hurt a fly, looked like her mind wasn't even with her. As if on cue, they set his body, piercing his nerves. Rin roared in pain and everyone got burnt.

"Demon! He's going to kill us!"

"How could you?"

"We were never friends… DIE!"

"You're not my brother, you are evil!"

"Ha! Me?! Train YOU?! OH god that's funny for a dead man walking!"

"GO AWAY!" Rin roared. Tears were soaking his face like little rivers out of his eyes. He jumped out of bed, and opened his eyes.

Rin was in his room, dressed in a t-shirt and black loose pants. He felt his face and angrily wiped his tears away. He took a bag and shoved clothes, Kurikara… Wait… Why is it black instead of blue now? Rin wondered. He unsheathed the sword and white flames danced around his body, his wings grew to the length of flat-screen, and he felt like he stimulated his whole being.

He put the sword back in its sheathe and put the covering over it.

_No one will treat me as a person, angel or demon… I don't have feelings. I was made to be a weapon, no one could understand. I am Rin Okumura, a Demonic Angel._

**Opposite-senpai: God what is wrong with us… me…? **

**Exist-chan: Barely hit 800 words :/**

**Opposite-senpai: PLEASE EXCUSE SENPAI I FEEL BAD FOR MAKING MY FANS WAIT AND THIS SHIT IS HORRIBLE PROBS.**


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